A MESSAGE FROM MATT

As we move toward the end of the year, we get closer and closer to New Years resolutions. And while it may be a little early for those, I am reminded of the resolution that is almost always the foremost on everyone’s mind: weight loss.

It seems that every time I turn around, there is another diet on the market. Low fat, low carbs, low self esteem…there is an endless supply. Not to be outdone, I have thought long and hard about what I have found to be the best weight loss program out there. Not only is it extremely effective, but, more importantly…I invented it! Yes, not only am I the foremost authority on hot dogs, but I am now a dietary guru.

What is this new diet? Well, as many of you may know, we just opened our latest Matt's in Ballard. How does this tie into weight loss? The new diet is something I like to call the "Open a New Store and Lose a Ton of Weight Dietary plan."

Here’s how it works. First, open a new hot dog stand. Secondly, start losing weight. It’s as simple as that. Want to lose a couple of pounds right off the bat? Go through plan review with your local city government. Want to lose a couple of more by next Tuesday? Quickly go through the bills you owe on new equipment. Its easy! Feeling tempted to eat that double slice of cheesecake?… Take a quick look at your payroll for next week and watch that craving vanish! It’s fun, it’s easy, and it works! I, myself, have lost 10-12 pounds in a little over six weeks. And guess what? We’re planning a new store to be open by mid-November in the U District. I’m looking to be down another 10 by Thanksgiving. Some of the employees are referring to me as "Skeletor," but I think I look just fine.

The added incentive to all of this? I’m not charging for the advice! That’s right, it’s free. Think about it. You’re getting a new diet, worth at least fifty dollars, delivered to you a full two months before the New Year (worth at least another twenty bucks). That’s like me giving you seventy dollars for nothing. Now…as far as the hot dogs are concerned, that’ll cost you. I’ll tell you what…come in and spend seventy dollars and we’ll call it even.

Sincerely,
Matt

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